Witches have come a long way. In the past, to be identified as a witch meant being feared, despised, and persecuted. Today, people dress as witches each October without the slightest fear of being burned at the stake. In fact, an increasing number of people make witchcraft a year-round lifestyle.
The mystique of witches, combined with their long and unique history, make for some enchanting wordplay. With a little eye of newt and toe of frog (plus a few other witchy things), we’ve brewed up the following concoction of witch puns. They’re perfect for Halloween greetings, social media captions, or whenever you simply need a good cackle.
Riddles
Here are some hex-amples of witch puns in the form of riddles.
- What did the witch say to her victim as he was waiting?
Bewitcha in a minute!
- Why did the aspiring witch get rejected by the coven?
She couldn’t drive a stick! - Did you hear about the witch twins?
No one could tell witch was witch! - What sign was posted in the witches’ parking lot?
Violators will be toad! - What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
- Did you know that not all witch hunts led to the accused being burned at the stake?
Some of them got off with a slap on the witch! - What’s the first thing a witch does when she checks into a hotel?
She orders broom service! - Why did the witch’s spell go awry?
She lost her Hocus Focus! - Did you know that witches often have an animal such as a black cat or toad that does their bidding?
Hmm, that sounds familiar! - How do witches spend their Saturday nights?
They like to kick back and have a few brews!
- What do you call someone who doesn’t become a witch until they’re older?
A late broomer! - Why should witches never use their broomsticks when angry?
They might fly off the handle! - Why did the man decide not to divorce his wife after she became a witch?
He married her for better and for warts! - Why do witches fly on broomsticks, of all things?
So they can make a clean getaway!
- How did the witch make it to the summoning when her broom broke down?
She witch-hiked! - How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion! - What’s the best place to search for information on witches?
Wicca-pedia! - Why did the girl get kicked out of witch school?
She failed her spelling test!
- Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell! - Can a witch fly her broom into space?
No, she needs a witch craft for that! - What do you call a witch who lives in the desert?
A sand witch! - Witches always argue that they have the best shaped hats. They have a good point.
- How do witches listen to music while riding their brooms?
With a broom box!
- Did you hear about the girl who thought she could learn to cast spells and fly on a broomstick?
It was all witchful thinking! - What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist! - Did you know there are witches with the power to plunge a room into darkness?
They’re called lights witches! - Why couldn’t the little witch read her spell book?
It was written in curse-ive!
- How do witches avoid getting burned when brewing potions in their cauldrons?
They use coven mitts! - How do you learn to become a witch quickly?
Take a crash curse! - I need a broom, pointy hat, cauldron, and black cat… so I added them all to my witch list.
- What does it mean if you hear crystal shattering in the witches’ lair?
It means somebody really dropped the ball! - How do witches ride their brooms without getting calluses on their hands?
Lots of moisturizing potion! - What book do brainy witches like to read?
Wart and Peace!
Captions
Here are some short witch puns that are perfect for Halloween captions, crafts, and the like. For more ideas, see our list of Halloween phrases.
- Hope your Halloween is hex-tra special.
- Broom with a view.
- Witch you were here.
- Lifestyles of the witch and famous.
- Wicked awesome.
- I have occult following.
- Looking brew-tiful.
- Resting witch face.
- Look what the black cat dragged in.
- Here I am, warts and all.
- How do I maintain my ghoulish figure? Good newt-trition.
- Witching you a Happy Halloween!
- Basic witch.
- Snap, cackle, and pop.
- [Text Message] Just thought I’d send you a hexed message.
- This costume works like a charm.
- Watch out… I’ve got a witchy trigger finger.
- What an enchanting evening.
- Witch me luck.
- Leading by hex-ample.
- Stay the curse.
- Spell ya later.
For more monstrously bad puns, check out our articles on skeletons, ghosts, and vampires.
Mat Jobe has written for print and online publications for over 25 years. In that time, he's worked as a journalist, blogger, and technical writer, and even had a brief stint as a video game writer. He founded AllWording.com in 2014.
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