What separates an ordinary Halloween yard haunt from a truly spook-tacular one? Expensive animatronic props, of course. But aside from that, it’s the small details, like the epitaphs you use for your fake tombstones.
Just like real epitaphs, the sayings on gravestone props can take a variety of forms, from simple phrases to verbose poems. However, unlike real epitaphs, these Halloween sayings are all about fun. They can be clever, spooky, or cute, just as long as they’re inspired by the playful spirit of Halloween.
To illustrate, here’s a big list of Halloween tombstone sayings of various types. A few of these have been making the rounds for years, but most are new and original. We hope you’re able to dig up an idea or two for your own haunted yard.
Funny
One obvious option is to use a funny name for your inscription. Here are a few good ones that make use of puns and morbid humor. For more ideas along these lines, see our list of funny skeleton names.
- Mavis Stokes
A frog in her throat caused her to croak
- Jan Morris the florist was never lazy
Now she’s busy pushing daises - He ate too fast and died too young
Swallowed a bone and bit the big one - John Smith always ran fast
He came in first before he breathed his last - Here lies a girl named Sandy
Kicked the bucket from too much candy
- He was holding a flamethrower when he farted
Now he’s among the dearly departed - Donald Yoast
Liked reptiles the most
He was petting his cobra
When he gave up the ghost - A whole pail of candy she ate with laughter
Before she left for the sweet hereafter - Uncle Jim
Went for a swim
He couldn’t float
And that was all she wrote
- Lisa Drew
Didn’t say please and thank you - Mary Watts
Played a trick on this very spot - Gene Handy
Didn’t share his Halloween candy - Holden Weaver
Didn’t pick up after his golden retriever
- Stu Pidity
It’s no wonder he’s six feet under - Andy Kelly
Too much candy burst his belly - Rudy Seaver
Rude trick-or-treater
- Anita Newbody
“Could you lend me a hand?” - Kerry Doff
It was a truly grave offense - Ree Anne Carnation
“BRB” - Doug Upp
You can’t keep a good man down - Anne Putate
“You want a piece of me?” - Claire Voyance
She never saw it coming
- Elvis
He has left the building - Jimmy Hoffa
“What, you thought I was sleeping with the fishes?” - Kenny McCormick
“You bastards!” - Reese
Rest in Pieces - Candy Barr
Died of sugar overdose on Halloween - Bubba Turner
“Hold my beer…”
- Count Dracula
“Well this sucks” - Jason Voorhees
1946 – 1957
1980 – 1981
1985 – 1986
Etc. - Room For Rent
For just a few bones! - Dee Cayen
“Here I lay, rotting away” - Here Lies Mozart
Decomposing
- Pearl E. Gates
- Dirk Knapp
- Barry M. Deep
- Cross Dover
- Dee Parted
- Ima Rottin
- Kiki D. Bucket
- Caddy Aver
- Rick R. Mortus
- Seymour Butz
- Morty Fication
- Emma Balmed
- Hal O. Ween
Scary
If you’d rather give trick-or-treaters a shiver than a laugh, check out these spooky epitaphs. To amp up the horror even more, check out our list of the scariest quotes of all time.
- Uncle Fred
Turned up dead
Give us a call
If you find his head
- Here lies Margo Meeks
Well, most of her at least - Dana Greer had no fear
Ran into a witch and wound up here - Here lies Julie Beth
Saw a ghost and was scared to death - This coffin is lonely
There’s nothing to do
Oh how I long for some company…
Like you! - I cannot move
I cannot die
Stoop down low
To hear my cry
- Coming here was his biggest blunder
Now he’s sleeping six feet under - Lying here is an Egyptologist named Russ
Discovered a mummy and bit the dust - Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
They came for me,
They’ll come for you - A serial killer with a butcher knife
Cut her down in the prime of life - Here lies Abigail Barnes
Sold her soul and bought the farm
- Gil O. Teane
He had a good head on his shoulders - Izzy Dedyet
You’ll have to do some digging to find out - Barry D’Alive
Born June 16, 1856
Buried September 8, 1889
Died September 11, 1889 - My life is over
My tale is told
Now I lie here
Stiff and cold
- Ashes to Ashes
Dust to Dust
Sooner or later
You’ll lay with us - A tricker-or-treater who rang the wrong doorbell
Now he’s deader than a doornail - He ratted us out when he made his confession
So we buried him alive to teach him a lesson - Donny Baker
Undertaker
Was on the job
When he met his maker
- I smell children
- Will Getchu
“One way or another…” - Ivana Killagin
- Yul B. Next
- Your Name Here
- Al B. Backe
- May B. Walken
- M.T. Grave
- Bea Headed
Themes
If you have several tombstones to work with, one clever option is to make them all fit a particular theme. The possibilities are endless, but we’ve outlined a few standout ideas here.
Movie Slashers
A graveyard featuring some of most notorious characters in horror can be both creepy and clever. While there are lots of fictional killers to consider for your headstone props, here are some of the biggies:
- Jason Voorhees
- Michael Myers
- Leatherface
- Freddy Krueger
- Norman Bates
- Ghostface
- Pennywise
- Art the Clown
Spooky Historical Figures
If you’re looking for something a little more grounded in the real world, history provides plenty of options. Here are some famous people with morbid reputations you can capitalize on.
The Walking Dead
Any television show with a high body count is perfect for a themed Halloween graveyard, but because of its zombie-centered plot, The Walking Dead is especially apropos. Here’s just a short list of well-known characters who have died on the show:
- Carl Grimes
- Glenn
- Abraham Ford
- Tyreese
- Merle Dixon
Game of Thrones
Everyone’s favorite fantasy series is another great candidate for a themed graveyard. If you’re a GoT geek, you know that many of the show’s major characters have bitten the dust in memorable ways. Here’s a quick reminder of some of the options:
- Joffrey Baratheon
- Ned Stark
- Robb Stark
- Drogo
As you can see, there are plenty of options for Halloween tombstone sayings. You can even make up your own (see these short Halloween quotes for even more inspiration). Using your own creativity is a great way to come up with epitaphs that will really knock ’em dead.
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