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100 Tombstone Sayings For Your Halloween Yard Haunt

What separates an ordinary Halloween yard haunt from a truly spook-tacular one? Expensive animatronic props, of course. But aside from that, it’s the small details, like the epitaphs you use for your fake tombstones.

Just like real epitaphs, the sayings on gravestone props can take a variety of forms, from simple phrases to verbose poems. However, unlike real epitaphs, these Halloween sayings are all about fun. They can be clever, spooky, or cute, just as long as they’re inspired by the playful spirit of Halloween.

To illustrate, here’s a big list of Halloween tombstone sayings of various types. A few of these have been making the rounds for years, but most are new and original. We hope you’re able to dig up an idea or two for your own haunted yard.

Feature image for article on Halloween tombstone sayings

Funny | Scary | Themes

Funny

One obvious option is to use a funny name for your inscription. Here are a few good ones that make use of puns and morbid humor. For more ideas along these lines, see our list of funny skeleton names.

  • Mavis Stokes
    A frog in her throat caused her to croak
Mavis Stokes, A frog in her throat caused her to croak
  • Jan Morris the florist was never lazy
    Now she’s busy pushing daises
  • He ate too fast and died too young
    Swallowed a bone and bit the big one
  • John Smith always ran fast
    He came in first before he breathed his last
  • Here lies a girl named Sandy
    Kicked the bucket from too much candy
  • He was holding a flamethrower when he farted
    Now he’s among the dearly departed
  • Donald Yoast
    Liked reptiles the most
    He was petting his cobra
    When he gave up the ghost
  • A whole pail of candy she ate with laughter
    Before she left for the sweet hereafter
  • Uncle Jim
    Went for a swim
    He couldn’t float
    And that was all she wrote
Uncle Jim, Went for a swim, He couldn't float, And that was all she wrote
  • Lisa Drew
    Didn’t say please and thank you
  • Mary Watts
    Played a trick on this very spot
  • Gene Handy
    Didn’t share his Halloween candy
  • Holden Weaver
    Didn’t pick up after his golden retriever
  • Stu Pidity
    It’s no wonder he’s six feet under
  • Andy Kelly
    Too much candy burst his belly
  • Rudy Seaver
    Rude trick-or-treater
Rudy Seaver, Rude Trick-or-Treater
  • Anita Newbody
    “Could you lend me a hand?”
  • Kerry Doff
    It was a truly grave offense
  • Ree Anne Carnation
    “BRB”
  • Doug Upp
    You can’t keep a good man down
  • Anne Putate
    “You want a piece of me?”
  • Claire Voyance
    She never saw it coming
  • Elvis
    He has left the building
  • Jimmy Hoffa
    “What, you thought I was sleeping with the fishes?”
  • Kenny McCormick
    “You bastards!”
  • Reese
    Rest in Pieces
  • Candy Barr
    Died of sugar overdose on Halloween
  • Bubba Turner
    “Hold my beer…”
  • Count Dracula
    “Well this sucks”
  • Jason Voorhees
    1946 – 1957
    1980 – 1981
    1985 – 1986
    Etc.
  • Room For Rent
    For just a few bones!
  • Dee Cayen
    “Here I lay, rotting away”
  • Here Lies Mozart
    Decomposing
Here Lies Mozart Decomposing
  • Pearl E. Gates
  • Dirk Knapp
  • Barry M. Deep
  • Cross Dover
  • Dee Parted
  • Ima Rottin
  • Kiki D. Bucket
  • Caddy Aver
  • Rick R. Mortus
  • Seymour Butz
  • Morty Fication
  • Emma Balmed
  • Hal O. Ween

Scary

If you’d rather give trick-or-treaters a shiver than a laugh, check out these spooky epitaphs. To amp up the horror even more, check out our list of the scariest quotes of all time.

  • Uncle Fred
    Turned up dead
    Give us a call
    If you find his head
Uncle Fred, Turned up dead, Give us a call if you find his head!
  • Here lies Margo Meeks
    Well, most of her at least
  • Dana Greer had no fear
    Ran into a witch and wound up here
  • Here lies Julie Beth
    Saw a ghost and was scared to death
  • This coffin is lonely
    There’s nothing to do
    Oh how I long for some company…
    Like you!
  • I cannot move
    I cannot die
    Stoop down low
    To hear my cry
  • Coming here was his biggest blunder
    Now he’s sleeping six feet under
  • Lying here is an Egyptologist named Russ
    Discovered a mummy and bit the dust
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    They came for me,
    They’ll come for you
  • A serial killer with a butcher knife
    Cut her down in the prime of life
  • Here lies Abigail Barnes
    Sold her soul and bought the farm
Here lies Abigail Barnes, Sold her soul and bought the farm
  • Gil O. Teane
    He had a good head on his shoulders
  • Izzy Dedyet
    You’ll have to do some digging to find out
  • Barry D’Alive
    Born June 16, 1856
    Buried September 8, 1889
    Died September 11, 1889
  • My life is over
    My tale is told
    Now I lie here
    Stiff and cold
  • Ashes to Ashes
    Dust to Dust
    Sooner or later
    You’ll lay with us
  • A tricker-or-treater who rang the wrong doorbell
    Now he’s deader than a doornail
  • He ratted us out when he made his confession
    So we buried him alive to teach him a lesson
  • Donny Baker
    Undertaker
    Was on the job
    When he met his maker
Donny Baker, Undertaker, Was on the job when he met his maker
  • I smell children
  • Will Getchu
    “One way or another…”
  • Ivana Killagin
  • Yul B. Next
  • Your Name Here
  • Al B. Backe
  • May B. Walken
  • M.T. Grave
  • Bea Headed

Themes

If you have several tombstones to work with, one clever option is to make them all fit a particular theme. The possibilities are endless, but we’ve outlined a few standout ideas here.

Movie Slashers

A graveyard featuring some of most notorious characters in horror can be both creepy and clever. While there are lots of fictional killers to consider for your headstone props, here are some of the biggies:

  • Jason Voorhees
  • Michael Myers
  • Leatherface
  • Freddy Krueger
  • Norman Bates
  • Ghostface
  • Pennywise
  • Art the Clown

Spooky Historical Figures

If you’re looking for something a little more grounded in the real world, history provides plenty of options. Here are some famous people with morbid reputations you can capitalize on.

  • Jack the Ripper
  • Edgar Allan Poe
  • H.P. Lovecraft
  • Vlad Tepes
  • Elizabeth Bathory
  • Rasputin
  • Ed Gein
  • H.H. Holmes
  • Aleister Crowley
  • The Walking Dead

    Any television show with a high body count is perfect for a themed Halloween graveyard, but because of its zombie-centered plot, The Walking Dead is especially apropos. Here’s just a short list of well-known characters who have died on the show:

    • Carl Grimes
    • Glenn
    • Abraham Ford
    • Tyreese
    • Merle Dixon

    Game of Thrones

    Everyone’s favorite fantasy series is another great candidate for a themed graveyard. If you’re a GoT geek, you know that many of the show’s major characters have bitten the dust in memorable ways. Here’s a quick reminder of some of the options:

    • Joffrey Baratheon
    • Ned Stark
    • Robb Stark
    • Drogo

    As you can see, there are plenty of options for Halloween tombstone sayings. You can even make up your own (see these short Halloween quotes for even more inspiration). Using your own creativity is a great way to come up with epitaphs that will really knock ’em dead.

    Mat Jobe