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A Frightfully Batty List of Halloween Puns

If you hear the sound of groans around Halloween, it could be the spirits of the dead rising to haunt the living on All Hallows Eve. Alternatively, it could be people reacting to the groan-inducing puns that are popular at this time of year.

People love making puns about vampires, witches, mummies, pumpkins, candy, and all the other things associated with this macabre holiday. Heck, people even like to dress up as puns (“cereal killer” and “taco belle” are a couple favorites). Yep, when Halloween draws near, kooky spooky wordplay is about as commonplace as skeleton props and cheap plastic tombstones.

When it comes to Halloween puns, the possibilities are practically endless. However, we’ve limited the following list to the best and most groan-worthy. You might call them the scream of the crop.

Halloween puns featuring ghosts, goblins, and other well-known themes

  • What kind of music did the mummies play at the Halloween party?
    Wrap!
  • What kind of music did the mummies play at the Halloween party? Wrap!

  • Don’t go trick-or-treating with any vampires this Halloween – they can be a real pain in the neck!
  • Why did the witch turn someone into a road?
    She forgot to use spell check!
  • Why did the witch turn someone into a ROAD? She forgot to use spell check!

  • Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don’t forget to save room for “I scream.”
  • What is Dracula’s second favorite holiday after Halloween?
    Fangs-giving!
  • What is Dracula's second favorite holiday after Halloween? Fangs-giving!

  • No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin! (Get it – Gobblin’?).
  • Why didn’t the ghost dance at the Halloween party?
    Because he had no body to dance with!
  • Why didn't the ghost dance at the Halloween party? Because he had no BODY to dance with!

  • Why did the ghost step outside the Halloween party?
    He needed a breath of fresh scare!
  • No matter how much Halloween candy you eat, it always seems to go to waist.
  • Why did the ghost have to leave the Halloween party early?
    He couldn’t handle his boo’s!
  • Why did the ghost have to leave the Halloween party early? He couldn't handle his boos!

  • What kind of beans did the monsters put in their spooky Halloween chili?
    Human beans!
  • Why do witches ride broomsticks on Halloween?
    Because vacuum cleaners suck!
  • What do you call a preteen jack o’ lantern who just got invited to the big party?
    A happy hollow tween!
  • What do you call a preteen jack o' lantern who just got invited to the big party? A happy hollow tween!

  • What do you call seven days of full moons?
    A happy howler week!
  • What did the mummy say when Halloween was over?
    That’s a wrap!
  • Why did the witch refuse to go to the Halloween party?
    She was having a bad scare day!
  • Don’t let any annoying vampires give you a ride home from the Halloween party. They’ll drive you batty!
  • Don’t let any annoying vampires give you a ride home from the Halloween party. They’ll drive you batty!

  • Cemeteries are always popular on Halloween. You might say people are dying to get in!
  • What do you say to someone who dresses up as the Easter Bunny for Halloween?
    Hoppy Halloween!
  • When ghosts team up to frighten people on Halloween, you might say they’re splitting scares.
  • How did the skeleton know it was going to be a great All Hallows Eve?
    He could feel it in his bones!
  • How did the skeleton know it was going to be a great All Hallows Eve? He could feel it in his bones!

  • Why are vampires so easy to trick on Halloween?
    They’re all suckers!
  • What did they serve at the Halloween beach party?
    Sand-witches!

That’s a lot of Halloween puns, but we know what you’re thinking – needs more pumpkins. As a matter of fact, there are so many pumpkin and jack o’ lantern puns that we gave them their own dedicated list.

Mat Jobe