75 Skeleton Puns That Are Bad to the Bone
Of all the things that go bump in the night, skeletons are probably the goofiest. Unlike their fleshy cousins, the zombies, they don’t have a gory agenda. Instead, they’re usually either comic relief or sympathetic characters like Jack Skellington in The Nightmare Before Christmas.
The patently silly nature of skeletons makes them an ideal subject for pun-making. Of course, it helps that there are so many colorful expressions involving skeletons, bones, human anatomy, and the like. If you’re excited to bone up on your skeleton puns, or just bored out of your skull, point your eye sockets at the following examples.
Riddles
Here are some bone-headed skeleton puns that take the form of riddles and one-liners.
- Why are skeletons not cut out for high-stress jobs?
Because they’re easily rattled!
- Did you hear that the skeleton got teased by the zombie for his lack of soft tissue around the torso?
He really got a good ribbing! - Why wasn’t the skeleton bothered by the zombie’s teasing?
Because nothing gets under his skin! - What do you call a skeleton trick-or-treater?
A dead ringer! - Did you hear that the ghosts at the haunted house all went on strike?
They had to operate with a skeleton crew!
- How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle her funny bone! - Why do you never see a skeleton on a plane?
They prefer to travel by skel-ecopter! - Why did the skeleton insist on carrying around a bucket of gore?
Because it was his own flesh and blood! - What do you say to a skeleton who’s leaving on a trip?
Bone voyage!
- Why can’t skeletons re-insert their brains?
They just can’t get it through their thick skulls! - Why didn’t the skeleton attend the Halloween dance?
Because he had no body to go with! - Why did the skeleton go to the butcher shop?
He wanted to put some meat on his bones! - What did the skeleton pirate say when he was flogged for disobedience?
No skin off my back!
- What musical instrument do skeletons like best?
The trom-bone! - What happened when the skeleton went to the barbecue?
He helped himself to some spare ribs! - Why did the skeleton refuse to be the witch’s minion?
Because he didn’t have the stomach for it! - Why couldn’t the skeleton stand up for himself?
Because he was spineless!
- Why didn’t the skeleton drink beer?
Because it just goes right through him! - Why did the skeleton refuse to spook the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
Because she didn’t have a mean bone in her body! - Did you hear they’re making a cartoon about a walking, talking skeleton?
They’re looking for re-animators now! - Why couldn’t the necromancer get his skeleton-mobile to start?
He lost his skeleton keys!
- Why didn’t the skeleton ask someone to the Halloween dance?
He didn’t have the guts! - What did the skeleton do instead of going to the dance?
He stayed home feeling bone-ly! - Why did the skeleton warm herself by the witches’ cauldron?
Because she was chilled to the bone! - Did you hear about the skeleton who wasn’t cool?
He didn’t have a hip bone in his body!
- Did you hear about the skeleton who did a good job as the vampire’s minion?
She got a big bone-us! - What do you call a cross between a skeleton and a vampire?
Count Scapula! - How do you put new eyes into a skeleton’s skull?
With a socket wrench! - Why did the skeleton decide to move into the fixer-upper?
It had good bones!
- What did the skeleton say to his sweetheart?
Will you marrow me? - Why should you never trust a skeleton?
Because they have skull-terior motives! - What musical instruments will you never catch skeletons playing?
Organs… they don’t have any! - Where do skeletons go on summer vacation?
Boney Island!
- How did the skeleton lose his skin?
Something made his flesh crawl! - Did you hear about the skeleton who made it into the Monster Hall of Fame?
She was honored with a nice skull-pture! - Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game! - What’s the best way to reach a skeleton?
Call him on his skel-phone!
- When do skeletons come out to play?
In the dead of night! - Why didn’t the skeleton tell the witch her black cat ran away?
He didn’t have the heart! - Did the screaming skull enjoy Halloween?
Oh, he had a wail of a time! - Why won’t you ever see a skeleton taking the stairs?
They prefer to use the skel-evator!
- Who is the smartest skeleton ever?
Albert Spine-stein! - Where did the necromancer keep his pet skeletons?
In a rib cage! - Why was the orthopedic medical student up all night?
She was boning up for a big exam! - Did you hear about the two skeletons who competed in a foot race?
It was a dead heat! - What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
Captions
These short skeleton sayings are more appropriate for Halloween social media captions, crafts, and the like.
- I find skeleton puns very humerus.
- After all this trick-or-treating, I’m bone-tired.
- Give me some skin.
- Bone chilling.
- Obligatory skel-fie.
- Skel yeah.
- Hoping to find some body.
- Lay it on the spine.
- How much do I love Halloween? A skele-ton.
- It’s gonna be a great Halloween. I can feel it in my bones.
- Hope everyone has a skele-ton of fun!
- I’ve been working my fingers to the bone to make this the best Halloween ever.
- I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
- I’m not fat… I’m big boned.
- What it looks like in my closet.
- Tibia, or not tibia? That is the question.
- Confirmed numbskull.
- No guts, no glory.
- Bad to the bone.
- Wanna jump my bones?
- Halloween greetings from your favorite bonehead.
- Halloween is the best… make no bones about it.
- Drop dead gorgeous.
- I’m bored out of my skull.
- Bone-jour!
- This costume could be more fleshed out.
- I’ll selling Halloween scares… for only a few bones!
- My costume this year is pretty bare-bones.
- C’mon, throw me a bone.
