Christmas is known for being the most wonderful time of the year, but it’s also quite possibly the most hilarious. Let’s be honest – many of the holiday’s traditions are ridiculous when you stop and think about them. You’ve got people bringing trees into their homes, a fat man in a flying sleigh, and bizarre rituals like the tacky sweater contest.
Yep, Christmas is ripe for comedy, and that’s great news if you’re looking for funny things to write in a Christmas card. Even better, you don’t have to come up with your own wording – you can just steal one of the many cute and/or witty Christmas messages already in circulation. After all, who’s going to stop you? The Christmas card police?
To help you out, here’s a collection of 25 funny Christmas card sayings, with a mixture of the well-known, the obscure, and the totally original. They’re guaranteed to make the people on your Christmas card list just a bit more jolly this holiday season.
Warning: Some of the humor here is on the raunchy side and may not be appropriate for your Aunt Betty.
Christmas Humor
You want funny Christmas card wording? The most obvious choice is an awful, groan-inducing holiday joke.
Subordinate clauses!
Claustrophobic!
Because it was bad for his elf.
Snowballs!
(Excluding assholes, of course.)
Cookies, I mean!
Want more holiday silliness like this? Check out AllWording’s list of terrible Christmas puns.
Funny Holiday Wishes
Here are some short and witty Christmas messages to try if you’re looking for an alternative to the standard “Merry Christmas.” You can find even more humorous ideas in our list of short Christmas greetings.
(Just kidding – Merry Christmas!)
Funny Christmas Quotes
When all else fails, use a quote from someone famous. Here are some good ones.
Times are hard
Here’s your fucking
Xmas card
And that’s as good a place as any to end this collection of funny Christmas card wording ideas. Happy Holidays to all, and remember… it’s all fun and games until Santa checks the Naughty list. Speaking of Santa, you might want to check these festive Christmas Eve wishes.
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