Christmas is the most pun-derful time of the year. There’s just so much material to work with, from toy making elves to flying reindeer to a certain chimney-traversing fat man. All those quirky symbols of the season make Christmas a jolly good time for silly wordplay.
Besides, puns fit right in with the corny traditions of Christmas. You might say they’re the verbal equivalent of a crude gag gift, a gaudy ornament, or the much-celebrated ugly Christmas sweater.
So, to help kick off the Christmas season in appropriately tacky style, we’ve come up with this big list of funny Christmas puns. We think Yule love them.
Santa Claus looms large at Christmastime, and not just because of his famously round belly. Here are some Santa puns to stuff in your stocking.
- How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas?
They use Santa-tizer!
- If you’re lucky this Christmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.
- Why does Santa always pick the last sleigh in his garage to take out on Christmas Eve?
Because he insists on having the final sleigh!
- Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
- What do you call someone who can’t stop thinking about past Christmases?
- Remember not to leave a fire burning in your fireplace this Christmas Eve, or else you might wake up to a Crisp Kringle.
- Did you hear about the mall Santa who lost his job?
He was fired for Claus!
- Why did Santa order a performance of the Nutcracker at the North Pole?
He wanted to see some Pole dancing!
Here are some puns about Santa’s trusty little helpers.
- What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?
- Santa owes a lot to his little helpers. You might say he’s an elf-made man.
- What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop?
A rebel without a Claus!
- Elves are always defending the shape of their ears. They make some good points.
- What did Santa’s helper do when he wanted to improve his toy making skills?
He read an elf-help book!
Oh deer, here are some puns about Rudolph and company.
- Did you hear the forecast for Christmas Eve?
They’re calling for rain, dear!
- What do you call a reindeer that suddenly forgets how to fly?
The deerly departed!
- How did Rudolph survive his first trip with Santa?
He held on for deer life!
- Did you hear that reindeer like to gather in large groups?
Yeah, I herd!
- What do you call a reindeer ghost?
Miscellaneous Christmas Puns
Finally, here’s a grab bag of miscellaneous puns about Christmas and all its traditions.
- Did you hear about the amorous couple whose car stalled on Christmas Eve?
They got a mistle-tow!
- What kind of fish do they have at the North Pole?
- What does a cranky sheep say at Christmastime?
- What does a festive sheep say at Christmastime?
- I’m pining for a Christmas tree to spruce up the place.
- Some people love eggnog, while others find it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
- We all know that Santa Claus brings gifts to children, but who brings gifts for the pets?
- Did you know that Father Christmas has a daughter?
Her name is Mary Christmas!
- Did you hear about the kid who wouldn’t eat broken candy canes?
He wouldn’t take them unless they were in mint condition!
- Children who don’t learn to tie their shoes properly are bound to wind up on the knotty list.
- Is it best for the person carving the Christmas ham to be right-handed?
No, in this case you want someone who’s ham-handed!
- Don’t forget your buddies at Christmastime. Bros before ho ho ho’s.
- What do you say to a Chihuahua that won’t stop scratching on Christmas Eve?
That’s a lot of Christmas puns. However, if it’s still not enough to (Yule) tide you over, head on over to this list of winter puns. For ideas on funny things to write in a Christmas card, check out this article.