Christmas is the most pun-derful time of the year. There’s just so much material to work with, from toy making elves to flying reindeer to a certain chimney-traversing fat man. All those quirky symbols of the season make Christmas a jolly good time for silly wordplay.
Besides, puns fit right in with the corny traditions of Christmas. You might say they’re the verbal equivalent of a crude gag gift, a gaudy ornament, or the much-celebrated ugly Christmas sweater. So, to help kick off the Christmas season in appropriately tacky style, we’ve come up with this big list of funny Christmas puns that we’re sure yule love.
Santa Claus looms large at Christmastime, and not just because of his famously round belly. Here are some Santa puns to stuff in your stocking.
- Remember not to leave a fire burning in your fireplace this Christmas Eve… or else you might wake up to a Crisp Kringle!
- Did you hear about the mall Santa who lost his job?
He was fired for Claus!
- How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas?
They use Santa-tizer!
- What kind of soap do the elves use to wash Santa’s suit?
- Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
- What do you call someone who can’t stop thinking about past Christmases?
- Why did Santa order a performance of the Nutcracker at the North Pole?
He wanted to see some Pole dancing!
- Why can’t you spell “Santa Claus” using the Christmas alphabet?
Because it has noel!
Here are some puns about Santa’s trusty little helpers.
- What do you call an elf who runs away from Santa’s Workshop?
A rebel without a Claus!
- What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?
- Elves are always defending the shape of their ears. They make some good points.
- What did Santa’s helper do when he wanted to improve his toy making skills?
He read an elf-help book!
- What did the head elf at Santa’s Workshop say when they put the last bow on the last present?
That’s a wrap!
Oh deer, here are some puns about Rudolph and company.
- What do you call a reindeer that suddenly forgets how to fly?
The deerly departed!
- Did you hear the forecast for Christmas Eve?
They’re calling for rain, dear!
- How did Rudolph survive his first trip with Santa?
He held on for deer life!
- Did you hear that reindeer like to gather in large groups?
Yeah, I herd!
- What game do Rudolph and Clarice like to play?
Truth or deer!
Christmas Tree Puns
Here are some Christmas tree puns you can hang a star on.
- I’m pining for a Christmas tree to spruce up the place.
- Why did the family get a second Christmas tree?
They wanted to branch out!
- I fell in love with this Christmas tree and had to take it home. Guess you could say it was orna-meant to be.
- Did you hear about the guy who left a trail of sticky stuff when he brought his Christmas tree into the house?
- Decorating for the holidays is tree-mendous fun.
Here are some short Christmas puns that are perfect for social media captions.
- Let’s raise some cane this Christmas.
- Are you elfin’ kidding me?
- Sleigh it ain’t snow.
- I’ve always been gifted.
- Ginger-born and gingerbread.
- Don we now our ugly sweaters.
- I should get out myrrh.
- We’re stocking up for Santa’s visit.
- Got my Christmas shopping done in the (Saint) Nick of time.
- I’m a lost Claus.
Looking for a pun you can put in a Christmas card? Check out these goofy greetings.
- May Santa grace you with his presents this Christmas.
- May the holiday season give you plenty of Claus for celebration!
- Hope this Christmas has you feeling good from head to mistletoe.
- Safe travels this Christmas – December weather is snow joke!
- Ho-ho-hope you have a jolly good Christmas.
Miscellaneous Christmas Puns
Finally, here’s a grab bag of miscellaneous puns about Christmas and all its traditions.
- Did you hear about the amorous couple whose car stalled on Christmas Eve?
They got a mistle-tow!
- What kind of fish do they have at the North Pole?
- What does a festive sheep say at Christmastime?
- What does a cranky sheep say at Christmastime?
- We all know that Santa Claus brings gifts to children, but who brings gifts for the pets?
- Did you hear about the kid who wouldn’t eat broken candy canes?
He wouldn’t take them unless they were in mint condition!
- Did you know that Father Christmas has a daughter?
Her name is Mary Christmas!
- Children who don’t learn to tie their shoes properly are bound to wind up on the knotty list.
- Is it best for the person carving the Christmas ham to be right-handed?
No, in this case you want someone who’s ham-handed!
- What do you say to a Chihuahua that won’t stop scratching on Christmas Eve?