50+ Spider Puns That Will Make Your Head Spin
They’re sneaky, creepy, and Halloween-y. Spiders, more than just about any creature you care to name, give people a major case of the willies. In fact, according to some estimates, upwards of 15% of the population suffers from full-on arachnophobia – making it one of the most common phobias around.
If spiders give you the heebie-jeebies, one surefire antidote is to inject a little humor into the situation. That’s what the following list of spider puns is all about. It’s positively crawling with clever wordplay about webs, venom, fangs, and all the other traits that make spiders so extraordinary.
Riddles
To get things spinning, here are some spider puns in the form of riddles.
- Why did the nice little spider starve to death?
He wouldn’t hurt a fly!
- Why did the family of spiders all pitch in to build a web?
Because the family that preys together stays together! - Did you hear about the spider that liked to eat corn?
He built a cobweb! - What do you call a particularly agile spider?
A spry-der! - What did the boy spider say to the girl spider he liked?
Let’s go for a spin! - What did the student think when she learned that spiders aren’t technically insects?
It bugged her! - Where do spiders find meal ideas?
They do a web search!
- Why is it so easy for female black widows to find a mate?
Because all the guys are dying to meet them! - How do other spiders find a partner?
They usually meet on the web! - What’s the best place to look up spider terminology?
Webster’s Dictionary! - What did the spider say when he showed up late after getting stuck in his own web?
Sorry, I got caught up in my work! - Why does Spider-Man always have exact change on him?
Because of his spidey cents!
- What did the spider say when something finally landed in its web after a long week?
Thank god it’s fly-day! - What is a wolf spider’s favorite holiday?
Howl-oween! - What do you call a spider couple that builds a home together?
Newly-webs! - What do spiders do when they have trouble making webs?
They go see a spin doctor! - What sport do all spiders refuse to play?
Squash!
- What did the spider call his mom’s sister?
Tar-aunt-ula! - What did the astronaut say when he found a spiderweb aboard the spaceship?
Houston, weave got a problem! - Why do spiders make good outfielders?
They’re great at catching flies! - Did you know spraying insecticide on the floor really irritates spiders?
Yeah, it actually drives them up the wall! - What’s the scariest type of spider?
The terror-antula!
- Why did the politician hire a spider for his staff?
He needed someone to do spin control! - What was Pennywise’s favorite nursery rhyme growing up?
The It-sy Bitsy Spider! - What do you call a spider who always hides?
A shy-der! - Why did the company hire a spider for their online division?
The needed a new website! - Why did the company fire the spider who made them a website?
It had too many bugs!
- What do spiders do to relax on the weekend?
They go fly fishing! - Why did the spider build a web shaped like the Eiffel Tower?
He was craving French flies! - Why are spiders so successful?
They have a leg up on the competition! - Did you know the CIA has an arachnid division?
It’s full of spy-ders! - Would you like to be bitten by a spider?
Fangs, but no fangs!
Short Sayings
Here are a few snappy spider puns for captions, signs, and the like.
- My house has so many spiders, it’s practically a no-fly zone.
- I’ve been searching the web for information on spiders.
- An arachnid tried to sneak past me, but I spider.
- Weave got an itsy bitsy problem.
- Oh yes, I arach-did.
- I’m in a hairy situation here.
- Spiders are a real buzzkill.
- Got silk?
- Just thinking about spiders sends me into a tailspin.
- I like looking for spiders. I guess that makes me a web browser.
- Spiders are the original web designers.
- I have arach-needs.
- Fangs for the memories.
- Oh what a tangled web we weave.
Halloween Messages
Finally, here are a few Halloween messages featuring spider wordplay. For more spooky season silliness, see our big list of Halloween puns.
- Let’s hang out this Halloween!
- Have a hairy scary Halloween!
- May your Halloween be like a spider under your shoe – a smashing success!
- Remember to exercise caution when searching the web this Halloween!
- Hope your Halloween doesn’t bite!
- Hope your October is crawling with fun!
- My spidey sense says it’s going to be a great Halloween!
- Hope you get a leg up on the competition when trick-or-treating this Halloween!
- Like a fly caught in a spiderweb, I’m totally stuck on Halloween!
