Vegetable Puns: You Can’t Beet ‘Em
Making puns about vegetables is easy peasy. Not only do they come in an astounding number of varieties – from the puny pea to the plump pumpkin – but they crop up in lots of different English expressions. These qualities plant the seeds for some seriously corny wordplay, especially in the spring when gardeners get going.
To show you what we mean, we’ve harvested some of the best vegetable puns around for the following list. If you’re not a big fan of puns, these riddles and one-liners might be a little tough to swallow. However, if you’re pun lover, we’re confident you’ll eat them up. In fact, you might laugh so hard you pea your pants.
- What did mother potato say to her teenage daughter?
Don’t roll your eyes at me!
- I’ll stop gardening when kale freezes over.
- What did the last tomato on the vine say when all his friends got picked?
I’ll ketchup with you guys later! - What’s a grammar teacher’s favorite herb?
Parse-ley!
- What’s the reddest vegetable you can get?
Beets me! - Bring me a legume, and make it snap pea!
- How did the broccoli feel about being served for dinner?
It was steamed! - Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing! - What did the bok choy say when it was harvested?
I’ll be bok! - What do you call veggies that have been arrested by the police?
Collared greens!
- How do you mend a broken tomato?
With tomato paste! - How do you fix a broken head of cabbage?
With a cabbage patch! - What’s the best vegetable to feed to a captive animal?
Zoo-chini!
- You look absolutely radishing.
- Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for vegetable theft?
He took a leek in the garden! - How did the fungus find a place to grow?
Oh, it doesn’t need mushroom!
- Is a jalapeño hot?
No, it’s actually a little chili! - Did you hear about the little bean who looked just like his dad?
Like fava, like son! - A good gardener doesn’t miss a beet.
- Where do all the veggies go to get their drink on?
The salad bar! - What do you get from eating iceberg lettuce and snow peas?
Your recommended daily amount of fi-brr! - Excuse me, where can I find the caesar salads?
In the caesarian section!
- Who’s in charge of salads around here, anyway?
That would be the head of lettuce! - You be my sweet potato, and I’ll be your spud muffin.
- What kind of vegetable can you grow in your basement?
Cellar-y! - I love you from my head tomatoes.
- Could you help me find my missing root vegetables?
Sorry, but I don’t carrot all about that. I’m sure they’ll turnip somewhere. - A mushroom might be a fungi, but he’s not as cool as a cucumber.
- What did the weirdo say after he was caught creeping around in someone’s garden?
I’ve bean stalking you! - Why is it easy to make puns about onions?
Because they’re so pun-gent!
- What type of vegetables have trouble speaking up for themselves?
Hoarse radishes! - Are you growing sweet potatoes this year?
Yes, I yam! - You say you make a great caesar salad, but that romaines to be seen.
