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This List of School Puns is in a Class by Itself

Most schools don’t provide any instruction in puns, but maybe they should. After all, plenty of schools offer courses in Latin, which is a dead language. So why shouldn’t they teach kids about a form of expression that’s not only alive, but pretty darn frisky?

Besides, as any class clown knows, the school setting itself presents oodles of opportunities for puns. Between all the subjects taught in school and the many English idioms related to schoolwork and studying, the possibilities for wacky wordplay are virtually endless. We can only hope that someday our educational institutions will wake up to this promising field of study and begin awarding outstanding students with the honor of summa pun laude.

Until that day, it seems that if you want to learn about puns, you’ll have to learn by example. Fortunately for you, we have plenty of examples. To get started on your pun-dergraduate studies, check out this list of school puns for and about students, teachers, and parents.

School Puns

Captions and Messages

Here are some puns you can employ in photo captions, social media posts, and other types of messages. If you’re a parent wondering what to write in a yearbook, you might also want to see this article.

  • Good principals have all their faculties intact.
Good principals have all their faculties intact.
  • I’m super-intending to have a great school year.
  • Feeling gym dandy.
  • I’m angling for an A in Geometry.
  • Always a class act.
  • Let’s hope Driver’s Ed doesn’t end up being a crash course.
  • English teachers have the write stuff.
  • I wish we still had an abacus in math class. It was the one thing I could count on.
  • Geography is where it’s at.
Geography is where it's at.
  • Geography is world class.
  • I hope my teacher isn’t feeling testy today.
  • I’ve got so much school spirit, it’s spooky.
  • Initially I was just a little nervous about English, but now I’m past tense.
  • Arithmetic is awe-sum.
  • [Debate Club] Debate club is de-great club!
  • [Chess Club] We’re playing it close to our chess.
  • [School Bus] Yellow, is it me you’re looking for?
  • [Winter] Looks like it’s time for snow and tell.
  • [Elementary School] It’s elementary, dear Watson!
  • No punning in the hall!

Back to School Messages

Here are some punny back-to-school wishes you can send to a student. If you’re also sending goodies, you might want to check out these Skittles puns and our list of candy bar sayings.

  • Hope your school year is just like a chalkboard… re-markable!
Hope your school year is just like a chalkboard... re-markable!
  • Don’t let all those pop quizzes at school burst your bubble.
  • You’re so bright, your teachers will have to wear shades.
  • Happy first day of school to someone who’s all class.
  • Hope nothing lessons your enthusiasm for going back to school.
  • I hope you find a group of friends who clique with you.
  • School starts this autumn – make sure you don’t fall behind.


Finally, here are some jokes that feature clever school-related wordplay.

  • What did the student say when reminded that school starts at 8:00?
    “Ah, that rings a bell!”
What did the student say when reminded that school starts at 8:00? Ah, that rings a bell!
  • Why did the straight-A student get in trouble with the librarian?
    Because she was always hitting the books!
  • How did the librarian know the straight-A student was hitting the books?
    She left bookmarks!
  • Did you hear about the school that offered a kiting class?
    The students all passed with flying colors!
  • Why did everyone think the school dance was a joke?
    Because it had a big punch line!
  • Did you know that students learned about baking in Home Economics?
    Yeah, the final assignment was a piece of cake!
  • Why did the king show up for Geometry class?
    He heard they needed a ruler!
  • Why did the lab group do so well on their viscosity experiment?
    They had great chemistry!
  • How did the ophthalmology student decide which school to go to?
    He chose the one with the most pupils!
  • Did you hear about the guy who went to school to be a blackjack dealer?
    He aced his final exam!
  • What does the cafeteria serve after school hours?
    After school specials!
  • Did you hear about the student who insisted on sharpening her pencil before the big test?
    She had a good point!
  • How did the A student react when he found out he got a 75 on his test?
    He felt C sick!
How did the A student react when he found out he got a 75 on his test? He felt C sick!
  • If 55% of a farmer’s sheep are female and he has 200 sheep total, how many female sheep does he have?
    Ewe do the math!
  • Did you hear about the teacher who almost got hit by a car?
    He was grading on a curve!
  • What do you call it when students read letters from their pen pals?
    A red letter day!
  • Why did the ghost hunter attend a pep rally at the local high school?
    He wanted to see their school spirit!
  • Why did the student go to computer lab at lunchtime?
    Because he wanted a byte to eat!
  • Who do you call if someone writes dirty words on the bathroom stall at school?
    The cuss-todian!
  • What did the school nurse do with the student who was overly anxious?
    Sent him to de-tension!
  • Why did the cowboy go to lasso school?
    He wanted to learn the ropes!
  • Did you hear that an arsonist burned down the high school?
    He used a high-lighter!
  • Who’s the most dishonest member of the school faculty?
    The lie-brarian, of course!
  • Why didn’t Mr. Freeze show up for supervillain class?
    Because he was too cool for school!
  • Where do you go to learn how to make door clappers?
    The school of hard knocks!
  • If a case is 24 and I have six cases of beer, what do I have?
    A drinking problem!
  • What kind of insects are good at English?
    Spelling bees!
  • Why did the school valedictorian get so lonely?
    Because she was in a class by herself!
  • How can students avoid putting all their eggs in one basket?
    By participating in lots of eggs-tracurricular activities!
  • Did you hear that someone fainted in class?
    Yep, she went down in history!
  • What did the principal do when his school was falling to pieces?
    He called for a school assembly!

Now your assignment is to go make up your own puns about school. Or, if you’re not up to that, move on to these hokey homecoming puns.

Mat Jobe