Retirement is a solemn affair that should always be treated with the utmost sensitivity.
Just kidding! Retirement can bring out mixed emotions, but in general, it’s a joyous milestone in a person’s life. After decades of clocking in and operating according to someone else’s schedule, the lucky retiree finally gets to call the shots – and that’s an occasion worth celebrating.
It’s also an occasion that calls for some levity. If you know someone who’s retiring – whether it’s a friend or coworker – one of the best ways to send them off is with a joke. To help you come up with the right words, here’s a list of funny retirement wishes that will leave them laughing when they go.
For a Friend
To start, here are some funny retirement messages you can send to friends.
- Uh oh. Someone’s about to have too much free time on [his/her] hands.
- You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but you can put new tires on an old car. That’s what you’re doing: re-tiring.
- When “I’m too old for this shit” becomes your daily mantra, you know it’s time to retire. Hope you enjoy all the adventures you have ahead of you.
- Can you say Senior Discount? Hope you enjoy all the perks of retirement.
- Now your only job is having fun – and I know you’re a real pro at that.
- Retirement doesn’t make you an old fart, but it does mean you no longer give a shit.
- Now is the time to throw professionalism out the window once and for all.
- Enjoy your permanent weekend.
- Prepare yourself for years of hearing: “You look too young to be retired!”
- Now it’s time to stop fawning over your boss and start fawning over your grandkids.
- AARP: The sound you make when you realize that getting showered and dressed in the morning is now optional.
For a Colleague
Here are some hilarious messages for a retiring coworker.
- Without you around, I’ll never be able to stay awake for status meetings.
- Your retirement will leave an empty space in our hearts, not to mention the break room fridge.
- Your retirement brings out a lot of emotions in me, but I’d have to say envy is the biggest one.
- This place won’t be the same without you. In case you’re wondering, that’s a compliment.
- You might want to change your number. Once management realizes everything you did here, they’ll be begging you to come back.
- I’m losing you as a coworker, but I better be keeping you as a lunch buddy.
- Please take me with you!
For a Boss
Finally, here are some funny retirement wishes for a boss.
- Now that you’re retiring, I can tell you how I really feel about you. And how I really feel is, you’re awesome. Best wishes!
- Looks like the inmates will be running the asylum now.
- Do you think you could give me a raise on your way out the door? 🙂
On a more serious note, retirement is also a time of goodbyes. If you’re looking for a more heartfelt sentiment to mark the occasion, consider one of these famous farewell quotes.