90 Baseball Puns That Are Sure to Be a Big Hit

At the risk of sounding like a Ken Burns wannabe, baseball is woven into the fabric of America. Yes, it’s a sport people have watched for generations, from before Babe Ruth days to the Shohei Ohtani era. But the game is also in our entertainment, our fashion, our food, and yes, our language.

If you’ve ever covered all your bases, got thrown a curve by an unexpected situation, or struck out when asking someone on a date, you get the pitcher (er, picture). Baseball sayings are so commonplace that you might not even realize the All Star potential of baseball-related wordplay. At least, not until someone comes out of left field with a big list of baseball puns like the one below.

Riddles | Captions

Riddles

Leading off this double header are some baseball-related puns in the form of riddles.

Did you hear about the baseball player who got emotional because his bat was too big?
He was always choking up.

What kind of language did the hitter use when he missed a home run by inches?
Foul language.
Why shouldn’t you be surprised when soft-tossing pitchers tease you relentlessly?
Because they’re known for breaking balls.
What are the odds of getting into a fist fight with a major leaguer?
It depends on their slugging percentage.
Did you know Bruce Wayne spent a lot of time on baseball fields as a kid?
Back when he was Bat Boy.

Why didn’t Darryl Strawberry make it as a pitcher?
He was always getting into jams.
Why do the Pirates always lead the league in walks?
They have a good aye at the plate.
Why don’t Pirate pitchers throw many complete games?
Because they’re always getting the hook.
What happened when the peeping tom got one at bat in the big leagues?
He was caught looking.

What do you call it when a baseball player tries to get to second base with his date?
A double entendre.
When is a baseball manager complicit in a crime?
When he calls for a hit and run.
Did you hear about the nine baseball players who got called down to the police station?
They were all in a lineup.
How can a baseball fan see Mike Trout play?
Streaming is the best way to catch him.

What did the manager do when the opposing pitcher wasn’t wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day?
He put in a pinch hitter.
Why did the baseball player go around smacking his unmarried teammates?
Because he was a singles hitter.
Why did the hitter do 100 sit ups a day?
So he could have better ABs.
Did you hear about the dog from Louisiana who learned how to pitch?
He was a southpaw.

What happened when the relief pitcher took the mound with a cold?
He coughed up the lead.
The Cardinals wear red, the Royals wear blue, and the Yankees wear black.
Thanks for the color commentary.
Did you hear about the centerfielder who ran after a ball and came back wearing a super cute outfit?
The ball was hit into the Gap.
Why did the polyamorous power hitter get sent down to the minors?
He was too much of a free swinger.

Why did the groundskeeper take a job working at the dilapidated baseball field?
He thought it was a diamond in the rough.
What do pitchers like to order when they go out to lunch?
Sliders.
Why did Transylvannia’s baseball team have to forfeit the game?
Their bats all flew off.
What do you call it when Dracula drinks too much blood at the ballgame?
A full count.

Was the pitcher drunk when he gave up a grand slam?
No, but the bases were loaded.
What Star Wars movie do baseball officials like best?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Was Chewbacca in that movie?
Yes, he was Wookiee of the Year.
What made Luke Skywalker a Gold Glove infielder?
He got lots of Force outs.

Why did the manager’s experimental ideas lead to his team getting picked off a record number of times?
Because they were way off base.
Did you hear about the thief who made off with a fortune in baseball equipment?
He set a record for stolen bases.
Why wasn’t Uranus allowed to play baseball?
Because it was an All Star Game.
Is it hard to get a base on balls?
No, it’s a walk in the park.

Why didn’t the Easter Bunny get his chance to bat?
He was still in the hole when the game ended.
Why did the Easter Bunny make a number of misplays on the field?
He had some bad hops.
What did the umpire say when flipping pancakes?
Batter up!
Did you hear about the man who complained there was a baseball in his chili?
It must have been a beanball.

What do you call a line drive that hits a turkey sitting in the stands?
A fowl ball.
Why can’t you trust pitchers with medical degrees?
Because they’re always doctoring the baseball.
Why did Frosty the Snowman always get hurt when he pitched?
Because he refused to warm up.
Why can’t you go straight from second base to third?
Because there’s a short stop in between.

What do you call it when Minnesota hits into a double play?
A Twin killing.
Why did the fan walk out of the Blue Jays-Orioles game?
Because it was for the birds.
Who did the manager call when he wanted someone to help him find a date?
His setup man.
What’s Plastic Man’s favorite part of a baseball game?
The Seventh Inning Stretch.
Why was first base rolling around?
Because it was a base on balls.

Did you hear about the ump who was too busy dusting off home to call the game?
He had a lot on his plate.
Why was the defensive whiz so popular with the ladies?
Because he was a good catch.
Why did the major league pitcher spend so much time in the bathroom?
Because he was the number two starter.
Why did the major league GM sign a janitor to pitch out of the bullpen?
The team needed a mop up man.
What did they serve at the leadoff hitter’s birthday party?
Bunt cake.

Did you know there’s a theater production about bad baseball fielding?
It’s a comedy of errors.
How soon did the bad pitcher give up his first hit?
Right off the bat.
Why did the baseball fan pull up three plants in his yard before going to the game?
So he could root, root, root for the home team.
Why not pull up some shrubs instead?
Because that would be bush league.

What do you call it when a catcher has a flashback to a costly mistake he made?
A past ball.
Did you hear Major League Baseball had a plan to put lead inside baseballs?
That would never fly.
What did the Reds fan say when they watched Pete Rose go hitless in 5 at-bats?
“O-fer Pete’s sake!”
Why did the pitcher appreciate his friend the designated hitter?
Because he always went to bat for him.

Why did the big league manager go to the bar after his team lost yet another high-scoring game?
So he could get a fresh pitcher.
Why did the baseball player use a pickaxe instead of a bat?
Because he was a miner leaguer.
Why do people always compare baseball and bowling?
They have some striking similarities.
What baseball Hall of Famer liked corny jokes like these?
Ty Cobb.
What other baseball great has a corny name?
Willie Maize.

Captions

Closing things out are some shorter sayings for baseball-themed captions, crafts, and invites.

Nine innings make for a great outing.

Hoping for some runs today, and not the kind of runs that come from too many nachos.
With all these fans, this game figures to be a blowout.
Why do they call it “the stands” when it’s full of seats?
The baseball season is in full swing.