What is it about alcohol that encourages clever wordplay? Maybe it’s the fact that there are so many different varieties and brands of liquor, many of them with funny sounding names. Or it could be because people have been drinking – and talking about drinking – for so long that a rich vocabulary of booze slang has developed.
Or maybe alcohol-related witticisms only seem clever because the people enjoying them are often plastered. Call it the auditory equivalent of beer goggles.
Whatever the reason, alcohol is a great subject for all sorts of verbal shenanigans, including puns. To drive the point home (because it might be a little tipsy), here’s a hefty sampling of alcohol puns organized by drink type.
Note: Notice something missing? The possibilities for wine puns were so great, they spilled over into a separate list.
To start, here are some general puns about alcohol and drinking. Bottoms up!
- Liquor might not solve all your problems, but it’s worth a shot.
- Why did the drunk climb up on the bar roof?
He heard the next one was on the house!
- Let’s make like a ghost and get sheet-faced.
- What should you order if you just want a small drink?
- Where’s the best place to order a marteenie?
- I promise not to drunk dial you. Alcohol you later.
- Why don’t they allow dogs in bars?
Because most of them can’t hold their licker!
- Like a bear drinking honey from a bee hive, I’m getting really buzzed.
- What do ghosts like to drink?
Oh, they’ll drink anything with boo’s!
- Some people say I drink like a fish, but I just tuna them out.
- What kind of drink does Chuck Norris order at the bar?
- Why does going out in the cold kill your buzz?
Because it makes you so-brr!
- Why did the Easter Bunny show up at the bar?
He heard it was Hoppy Hour!
- I didn’t black out. I just got a little absinthe-minded.
Love beer? If so, here are some puns that should make you very hoppy.
- What kind of beer do lumberjacks drink?
- I was going to get a 12-pack of beer, but I got 24 just in case.
- Beer cures what ales ya.
- What kind of dance is most popular at a keg party?
- Hoppy Octo-beer!
- What did the dark beer say when it was getting brewed?
I’ll be bock!
- Take a pitcher – it’ll last longer.
- What kind of beer is always served in a bucket of ice?
Whiskey puns are hilarious, and we have the proof.
- I like my whiskey straight and my bars gay.
- What kind of whiskey is best served in wintertime?
- Whiskey vs. vodka – now that’s a spirited debate!
- How do you fix a broken bottle of Johnnie Walker?
By using Scotch tape!
- My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks.
Here are some tequila puns that will worm their way into your heart. Also, can we taco ’bout our list of Cinco de Mayo puns?
- Drinking too many margaritas is liable to tequil-ya.
- What kind of tequila do geometrists drink?
- Did you hear there’s a Mexican version of Harper Lee’s classic novel?
It’s called Tequila Mockingbird!
- I like drinking, but tequila is where I draw the lime.
When choosing the best type of alcohol pun, many would say that vodka is the clear choice.
- “Sobriety” is not in my vodkabulary.
- My spirit animal is Grey Goose
- What do carpenters like to order at the bar?
- What’s the best vodka to order if you’re in a hurry?
If these alcohol puns left a bad taste in your mouth, you might want to chase them with this collection of Irish toasts and sayings. Cheers!