The relationship between wine and wit has long been a topic of discussion among writers and philosophers. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “a man will be eloquent if you give him good wine.” Samuel Johnson had a different take: “Wine makes a man better pleased with himself. I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.”
We don’t know whether wine makes you more witty, or just makes you feel more witty. What we do know is that it makes for some good puns. The following list of wine puns illustrates many of the intoxicating possibilities for clever wordplay. Pour yourself a nice glass of vino and drink it all in.
Note: Would you like some cheese with that wine? If so, check out these cheese puns. Just a hunch, but you might also like this collection of alcohol puns.
General Messages and Captions
Here are some short and clever wine-related puns. These are ideal for Instagram captions and other social media posts.
- Wine puns. They’re always in pour taste.
- Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
- Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
- Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
- Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little champagne.
- Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
- I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
- Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
- Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock.
- I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
- The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
- Vino? Why yes!
- Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
- Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
- There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Sham pain – get it? It’s a thinker.
A bottle of wine is a classic gift, whether it’s for Christmas, a birthday, housewarming, or whatnot. Here are some wine puns that can tag along with the vino.
- I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
- Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
- Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
- You’re wine in a million.
- This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
- [Birthday] You’re how old? Poor you! I mean, pour you a glass of this!
- [Congrats] I heard it through the grapevine that you have something to celebrate.
- [Christmas] It’s the most wine-derful time of the year!
Finally, here are some wine puns in their natural habitat: riddles.
- Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
- What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
- What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
- Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
- What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
- Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
- What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
- Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
- What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
You know what pairs nicely with some wine puns? Pasta puns. Or, if you’re ready to move on to the hard stuff, see this list of alcohol puns.
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