This Collection of Wine Puns is a Real Corker
The relationship between wine and wit has long been a topic of discussion among writers and philosophers. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “a man will be eloquent if you give him good wine.” Samuel Johnson had a different take: “Wine makes a man better pleased with himself. I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.”
I don’t know whether wine makes you more witty, or just makes you feel more witty. What I do know is that it makes for some good puns. The following wine puns exemplify many of the intoxicating possibilities for clever wordplay. Pour yourself a nice glass of vino and drink it all in.
General Messages and Captions
Here are some short and clever wine-related puns. These are ideal for Instagram captions and other social media posts.
- Wine puns. They’re always in pour taste.
- Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
- Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
- Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
- Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little champagne.
Sham pain – get it? It’s a thinker.
- Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
- I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
- Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
- Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock.
- I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
- The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
- Vino? Why yes!
- Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
- Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
- There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Gifts
A bottle of wine is a classic gift, whether it’s for Christmas, a birthday, housewarming, or whatnot. Here are some wine puns that can tag along with the vino.
- I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
- Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
- Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
- You’re wine in a million.
- This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
- [Birthday] You’re how old? Poor you! I mean, pour you a glass of this!
- [Congrats] I heard it through the grapevine that you have something to celebrate.
- [Christmas] It’s the most wine-derful time of the year!
Riddles
Finally, here are some wine puns in their natural habitat: riddles.
- Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
- What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o! - What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc! - Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
- What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine! - Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear! - What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
- Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red! - What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
