Step Right Up For a Big Honkin' List of Clown Puns

Whatever happened to regular-old silly clowns? These days, it seems like all we get are the creepy, murderous kind. In fact, it’s fair to say that clowns – once a mainstay of children’s entertainment – are now more associated with horror movies and Halloween celebrations.

Between Pennywise, The Joker, Art, and other frightening fools, it’s understandable if you’re suffering from a bad case of coulrophobia (that’s the clinical term for fear of clowns). If so, we have something for what ails you. Here’s a list of amusing clown puns that make light of these wonderful, buffoonish, and colorful creepazoids that have come to haunt our nightmares.

General | Creepy Clowns | Captions

General

To start off, here are some puns about clowns that are based on their traditional (non-creepy) word associations.

Did you hear about the guy who took over for the circus’ star clown?
He had some big shoes to fill.

Why don’t clowns ever get on bicycles after riding around on their unicycles?
Because they’re two-tired.
Why should you keep your distance from clown cars?
Because there’s always some Bozo behind the wheel.
Did you hear there’s a Bozo University?
It’s the only school where you’re required to be a class clown.
What did the clown student do when he failed his face painting test?
He asked for a makeup exam.

What’s the difference between a teacher’s pet and someone with a bright red ball on their face?
One’s a brown noser and the other’s a clown noser.
What did the clown in training say when she found out face paint could totally change her expression?
“Well, color me surprised!”
Why did the clown always pick up the phone on the third ring?
Because he was at a three-ring circus.
Why don’t vampires prey on clowns?
Because they taste funny.

Why can’t you trust someone selling clown props?
They’re always up to funny business.
What did the little girl think when her parents hired a lovable clown for her birthday?
She thought it was a nice jester.
What did the woman think when her husband started dressing up as a clown for children’s parties?
She thought he was making a fool of himself.

Why should you stay away from circus clowns when you just want to chill?
Because circus clowns are always in tents.
Why can’t clowns ever behave themselves?
Because jokers are wild.
What do you call your boyfriend when he turns out to be a clown?
Beau-zo.

Did you hear the Yankees signed a clown for their bullpen?
They needed some comic relief.
Why do aspiring clowns wear big shoes?
It makes it easier to get a foot in the door.
How do you deal with a clown who refuses to talk?
Your guess is as good as mime.
What kind of line should you use to catch a clownfish?
A punchline.

Creepy Clowns

Here’s some wordplay about Pennywise and all the other scary clowns that give people the willies.

Why did Pennywise terrorize children?
Just for the fun of It.

How do you defend yourself against a pack of evil circus clowns?
Go for the juggler.
Did you hear about the creepy clown who got hit in the face with a pie?
He got his just desserts.

Did you hear about the evil clown who preferred to bludgeon his victims?
He was really into slapstick comedy.
Why did Art the Clown decide to become a serial killer?
Because he was always such a cutup.
Why are clowns so fond of gags?
Because they keep their victims from screaming.

What do you call it when a creepy clown follows you around giggling?
A laughing stalk.
What happened when the evil clown killed someone with a rubber chicken?
The police suspected fowl play.